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A Wealth of Geekiness
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A Wealth of Geekiness
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“What does ‘gay’ mean, daddy?” I damned near rear ended the car in front of me at the light when my six-year-old son asked the question. I blinked a few times and tried not to look at him to conceal the deer-in-the-headlights look on my face. “Well, son,” I said, then paused to give myself time to think. “There’s several meanings for that particular word.” I rolled through several scenarios, trying to figure out the easiest way to explain what it meant and employed another stall tactic, “How did you hear it used?” “Jimmy Carter told me I was gay, and everyone went ‘OoOooo!’ like he’d said something bad.” I said, “I see. What’d you do?” “I called him a meanie head.” “Well that’s a decent come back at least, son.” “But what does ‘gay’ mean?” The light changed, so I had an excuse to hold the conversation for a while longer. At the next stop for a sign, I said, “It used to mean that you were happy, son, but these days it has taken on a slightly different meaning. Your mom and I are straight. That means she likes men and I like women. Someone that is gay likes whatever they are.” “I play with lotsa other boys, so that’s ok, right?” “Not the same kind of like, son. The kind of like that we’re talking about is like kissing and stuff. You don’t wanna kiss anyone do you?” “No!” “Good, then let’s leave it at that for now, alright?” “Ok daddy.” I let the conversation lull for a bit, and a couple of blocks from the house, he came up with a new question. My son asked me, “Daddy, what is a bastard?” I winced and said, “Son, please don’t say that word any more. Did you hear Jimmy say that one?” “No.” “Alright, it technically means a child born out of wedlock, but a lot of folks call someone that when they are being a jerk.” “Ahh, so I could call Jimmy that.” “No, son, you shouldn’t call Jimmy that. You shouldn’t call Jimmy anything.” “Ok, daddy.” I turned my truck into the drive way to our house, and my son asked one more question, “What’s a son of a bitch?” “Son, where did you hear all of these words? Who called who a son of a bitch?” We stepped out of the truck and started for the door when my son said, “It’s what mom calls you when she’s on the phone.” ———- #FridayFlash Picks for this week: J. M. Strother’s “Cat House” Tony Noland’s “Back of the Class” Dana Larose’ “A Dash of Evil” Laura Eno’s “Midnight Swim” Maria Protopapadaki-Smith’s “Riot“
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Posted on 02:52, October 30th, 2009 by 
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Heh, my turn to confess that I guessed the ending
Very cute though.
I don't always have to make a twist at the end. If I made you laugh, mission accomplished
Well you did make me laugh!
“I called him a meanie head.” Hahaha. Will tell my gay friend that's what he should answer if ever verbally attacked!
One small point: You used the word "decent" twice and rather close together. Only once should be better.
Fixed the decent problem. Thanks for the call. It is one of those words that slides past me.
Glad it made you laugh
Hee! I got a good chuckle out of it AND I didn't guess the ending. Mazzz is more clever than I am, or calls people a son of a bitch more often…
Gosh – giggles all around here. I have a five and a half year old son and he always nails me on the hard questions when we're in the car. it's like they innately know they've got us cornered.
Argh – just lost the rest of my comment, signing in – probably a good thing. My suggestion is to tighten up the ending – condense it down to two lines. I gave you those two lines in my original comment but they're gone now … and too tired to try to rejig them. It's probably enough editing for the day anyway!
Priceless. It made me laugh. Thanks for sharing.
Ouch! Quite an educational day – for both of them! Nicely done. And thanks for the shout out.
~jon
And cue the drum crash.
Excellent dialougue between the father and son
good stuff!
ROFL! I loved it! Had me laughing out loud. Nice way to start the day.
And thanks for listing my story too!